Well, I know I have to do it. I don't want to but I need to. I have to go back to work next week. I am not sure if I can do it. I don't want to. Being home the last few weeks has made me realize that I wish I were home with the boys. I want to drive to school in the morning, play and watch T.V. with the little one. I want to have the freedom to raise my kids 24/7. But, like too many moms, it is not an option. So, last night I stayed awake crying because I have to go back to work. So not fair!
I think of making good, wholesome dinners every night, cleaning my house all of the time, amusing the 2 year old. I long to do these things. I don't care if I have a career and advanced degrees! Damnit, my oldest is 7. I am only going to have him here for a little while longer. Peter will be in school soon. What about the babies that come next?
Okay, I know I should be grateful that in this economy that I have a job and am paying my bills. But, I just can't be. I look at the choices we have made over the years and I wish I knew now what I didn't know then. Okay, I am stopping this before I get really depressed, but seriously, if how can you leave these little angels?
3 comments:
Boobs.
Oh it will be ok, it will be for a just a little while longer!
Neko and Marzipan, seriously what would you do with a boob?
Anne, thanks so much for the encouragement!
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